Greetings to one and all, patriots, rebels, freedom-fighters and frauds, from Eegeebeegee, captital of the Tallahatchie Free State, here at the northern end of southern nowhere. The purpose of this morning's press release from the Colonel's government in opposition, established not so much tongue in cheek as hand on wallet, is the publishing of the next edition of the regularly irregular Colonel's Corner feature foisting notables and disreputables upon the petards of their own pronouncements proclaiming their steel trap grips on the obvious. The Colonel's Monday Morning Mastery of the Obvious awards are hereby irrevocably, irreverently and irrepressibly presented in ascending order of MOTOness, as determined by an esteemed panel of one, chaired by a man curmudgeoned well before his time:
The Colonel's Monday Morning MOTO bronze medal is awarded to El Presidente por Vida Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, who, following the victory of a referendum to allow him to run for reelection for indefinite terms, proclaimed, "Those who voted 'yes' today voted for socialism, for revolution." Seems the Venezuelan people have more in common with the citizens of these re-United States than anyone realized.
The Colonel's Monday Morning MOTO silver medal goes to that paragon of bi-partisanship, and Pinko House chief of staff, Rahm Emanual for his own assessment, as reported by the AP, of the White House cabinet post vetting process that has resulted in a handful of nominees pulling their names from contention for reason of little things like tax evasion and strong opposition to the new administration's socialist policies: "Some would call it amateur hour." Some would, Mr. Emanual. The Colonel, on the other hand, believes it is symptomatic of the hubris with which H and his crew have come to the seat of power. They believe, as does the bronze award winner this morning, that they have a socialist mandate, and one of socialism's unwritten rules is that the ends justify the means.
The Colonel's Monday Morning MOTO gold medal is bestowed upon Republican Senator Mitch McConnell who, in assessing the $800 billion bill passed this week, according to the AP, proclaimed, "This is not the smart approach. The taxpayers of today and tomorrow will be left to clean up the mess." Senator, you have a death grip on the obvious! And, you and your party are just as responsible for this mess left to our children to clean up as the democrats. When given the opportunity to reverse forty years of socialist slide, you and the Republicans took the reins in Washington and became even bigger spenders on social programs than the socialists you replaced. Shame on you! Instead of demonstrating restraint, you set a higher bar for largess from our larders over which the re-empowered Democrats are now gleefully leaping.
The Colonel is taking applications for cabinet positions in the Tallahatchie Free State opposition government. MOTOs need not apply.