Monday, January 26, 2015

On a Birthday Far, Far Away

A hundred billion galaxies in the universe we know, each with at least that many stars.

For the sake of simplicity, and so as not to confuse his friends with degrees from schools not called Ole Miss, the Colonel will limit the discussion to one not involving multiple parallel universes.  Just this universe, with it's trillions of possible worlds, will suffice.

Chances are, in a single trillion instances, there exists at least a thousand other worlds like this one.

Chances are, on at least one of those thousand worlds there teems billions like us.

Chances are, that life is like all life on our planet -- competitive for survival's sake.

Chances are, life on that planet is organized in competing societies -- warring societies.

Chances are, one of those warring societies has achieved superiority and maintained it by force of arms and a preeminent warrior class.

Chances are, thousands of that warrior class are living out their peaceful retirement in the heartlands.

Chances are, that planet revolves around its star much slower than does ours.  

The retired centurion living at the shallow northern end of the deep southern nowhere on a land mass on that faraway planet just turned 35 today.

The Colonel thinks he'll celebrate that man's birthday today, instead of his own...

Friday, January 23, 2015

Season of Seasons Assessment

The Colonel's annual season of seasons is rapidly coming to an end. As annual season of seasons go, the 2014/2015 edition ranks (in preliminary assessments) as one of the best all time.

The Colonel must admit, however, that his season of seasons assessment standards may have slipped somewhat, coincident with his slipping into advanced age.  What he means is that twenty years ago, his preliminary assessment of this current rapidly ending season of seasons would have no doubt been that it was a far less satisfying one. 

That's the beauty of notching more years in your belt -- the more seasons of seasons the Colonel experiences, the more he has with which to assess comparatively.

Season of seasons relative measurements allow the Colonel to positively assess seasons of seasons heretofore considered negatively and thereby achieve contentment and satisfaction in assessment of seasons of seasons at the end of which the Colonel may have been discontented and dissatisfied.

The Colonel will provide examples forthwith.  But, first, the Colonel feels the pressing need to explain what he means by "season of seasons."

A season of seasons begins each year with the kick-off of the college football season. Dove season, deer season, and duck season nest within, and compete with, the season of sojourns to the Colonel's season ticket seats in the hallowed confines of Vaught-Hemingway Stadium. 

A season of seasons ends with the last day of duck season and the commencement of the Colonel's endurance of the worst month on the calendar.  The month in question is so horridly loathsome that the Colonel refuses to recognize it by name; instead, referring to it as "after January" and "before March."

A season of seasons includes the Colonel's celebration of Thanksgiving and Christmas -- tightly regulated to the actual days on which those two holidays occur.

Season of seasons assessments are subjective exercises.  This is not to say that they are bereft of objective data points.  In fact, seasons of seasons assessments are replete with objective measurements.  Said measurements were once the only variables considered in a season of seasons assessment.  Not so, no more. 

The Colonel, even as unempathetic, insensitive, and unfeeling as he is, senses the frantic boredom creeping up on the two dozen of you who irregularly waste rod and cone time perusing posts here on. So, he will get to the point -- as blunt as it is. 

A season of seasons primary assessment is derived, in the Colonel's case (and, since he's the one posting hereon for your perusal displeasure, the case that matters), primarily by the gridiron success (or lack thereof) of the Colonel's football Rebels.  

No doubt most of Rebel Nation's retrospective of Ole Miss' 2014 campaign is tempered by the stinging loss to TCU in the Peach Bowl.  The Colonel's assessment also includes that data point, but views it relative to the near half century of his experience with Rebel football.  

It was a GREAT season!

Of course, the Colonel would be fine with a three-win season, as long as the wins were against LSU, Bama, and TSBU. 

Secondary season of seasons assessments rely on the Colonel's experiences throughout the hunting season components of the season of seasons.

The Colonel's game bag was more often empty than not at the conclusion of each hunt this season, and yet he assesses each season this year to have been rousing successes.  Time afield has become a far more important measurement.  That's the Colonel's story and he's sticking to it.

One a scale of one to ten, the Colonel ranks this season of seasons an A- ...

At any rate, the Colonel will be posting more regularly now that there ain't nothing more entertaining to to do with his time...