Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Slough U

The locusts are gone this morning. They descended in a pandering cloud, stirred up the clamoring crowds, and left the Magnolia State on gusts of political hot air. Attendant to their vote-begging, the mendacious media dredged up every stereotype ever used to describe Mississippi and Mississippians. In their wake they left a social atmosphere charged with animus and bitterness.

This morning, the post-polling punditry and self-serving reportage of the media continues to stir their biased brew of inaccuracies and misunderstanding as they dissect the result of the Democratic Primary. Local liberal columnists are waxing adoringly of the power-hungry panderers who tickled their ears and starred their eyes with practiced stage-presence. It's enough to make anyone with a brain and a clear eye wince in pain.

Note to Fox News: Calling the Mississippi Primary the "Battle for the Bayou" demonstrates that you have either let the interns run your network this week, or worse, you have no earthly idea about the states and locales upon which you report. That backward, Napoleonic throw-back to the west is the "Bayou State." Mississippi has "sloughs" (pronounced slews)--no self-respecting Mississippian (outside of some wayward Louisiana lovers in the southwestern corner of the state, some of whom are actually known to traitorously support LSU) uses the term "bayou" with which to refer to its backwaters.

Soon enough, another state will enjoy the dubious honor of national political attention and my state will thankfully recede into blessed national obscurity. For all of you up north, noticing that Florida and Atlanta have achieved their maximum yankee quotas, please know that Mississippi is a horrible, dangerous, despicable place to live. You wouldn't like it--don't even waste a minute checking us out.
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