First home game of the 2007 Ole Miss football season last Saturday, and I learned a very valuable lesson--always bring two women with you.
Kickoff was at 5:00 PM and Miss Brenda, our loveliest daughter, and I got to campus a couple of hours early to take in the sights, sounds, and smells of one of the most hallowed rituals of fall at Ole Miss--Tailgating in The Grove. After a forced march (only slightly less grueling than the Baatan Death March, if the complaints of the women were any indication) from strategically planned post game escape axis of attack parking off campus, we found a bench situated between The Grove and the Student Union by which the vast majority of the female student body passed in review. Had I only had Miss Brenda in tow for this pre-game ritual, I would have been restricted to furtive glances at coeds dressed in the traditional Ole Miss home game finery. But, with our loveliest daughter along, a running critical fashion commentary between the two of them inevitably (I feigned resistance to participate) included me. At every disagreement about fashion and form, I was asked for my critical judgement--"Daddy, look at her. What do you think of that dress?" Oh, the sacrifices I make for my family.
The game went well for Ole Miss...until the kick off. Since we only play two decent quarters of football per game (a long-standing tradition, dating as far back as the inception of Tailgating in the The Grove), and it was a bit warm with the sun still up, we decided to reserve our best play for the half to be played after dark. Unfortunately, Missouri's spread offense scored with every possession and we spotted them 28 points before we decided to start playing. We played the best two quarters of football I've seen in Vaught-Hemingway in the second half, but two good quarters of football don't cut it in the SEC. Final score: 38--25, Missouri.
Our coaching staff is still oblivious to the concept of clock management. Orgeron's a great recruiter, but he can't tell time--even on a digital clock.