Monday, November 26, 2012

Thanksgiving; Extended Version

The Colonel knows well that the celebration of our uniquely American holiday -- Thanksgiving -- was last week, and that, as of the hour shortly after our collective post-turkey nap, America's decidedly un-Christian celebration of the Christmas season has already begun; in all of its commercialization, thinly-veiled conceit, plastic manufactured joy, and contrived narratives regarding wishes for "Peace on Earth.

However, the Colonel, as those of you who know him well can attest, and those of you who have regularly subjected your sensibilities to insensitive posts hereon have no doubt surmised, is a stubborn stick-in-the-mud, marching to the beat of his own distinctly different drummer. 

His parade float hasn't yet reached the grandstands.

His ball game is still late in the third quarter.

He's still waiting on the vote in the Electoral College.

In other words, the Colonel ain't ready to move on.

Therefore, he will use the occasion of this post to prolong his celebration of Thanksgiving.  There is indeed much for which to be thankful... TO GOD. 

First and foremost, the Colonel gives thanks to the Creator of the Universe and every atom and free radical in it.  The Colonel thanks GOD for creating him, and loving him enough to send HIS son Jesus to die for him.

The Colonel thanks GOD for placing, and keeping, the comely and kind-hearted Miss Brenda in his undeserving life.

The Colonel thanks GOD for giving him two sons and a daughter, of whom he could not possibly be more proud. 

The Colonel thanks GOD for two tremendous grandsons -- the Hope of 21st Century Civilization, Dashes One and Two.

The Colonel thanks GOD for the coming of the Hope of 21st Century Civilization, Dash Three.

You read that right; the Colonel is expecting a third grandson.

The Colonel's beautiful and wonderful daughter-in-law, she of the exalted and protected position of "Provider of Grandsons," will round out the Colonel's fire team with another rifleman early in the Spring of 2013. 

The threat of civilization's calamitous collapse at the hands of Mayans, zombies, socialists, and political correctness Nazis notwithstanding, the Colonel is proud to announce that the Ole Miss Football Rebels will be led to victory over the (dis)likes of Bama, LSU, and TSBU by a Gregory at quarterback for the better part of the decade beginning around 2025.

Oh, and one more thing...


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