By whose proclamation the Colonel knows, nor, frankly, cares not, but today in the good ole U.S. of A. is National Coffee Day.
The Colonel can't speak for the rest of the nation, but here, on the grounds of Eegeebeegee, capital of the increasingly less whimsical and increasingly more plausible Tallahatchie Free State, every day is Coffee Day. Each and every day, seven days a week, thirty (give or take one or two) days a month, twelve months a year. No day is gainfully begun until the contents of a steaming cup of joe are coursing through the Colonel's bloodstream.
And, here at the shallow northern end of deep southern nowhere the coffee is consumed without pollutants. No sissified sippers here. Straight and strong, thank you very much.
The Colonel's preferred mug? Of the scores in his collection, he's a mite partial to the red one with the gold eagle, globe, and anchor emblazoned on its side.
National Coffee Day, huh?
That ain't near good enough.
By the power invested in him, by him, the Colonel declares that henceforth here in the Tallahatchie Free State every day from daybreak til noon is National Coffee Morning.