In the northernmost field (designated North Field in a fevered fit of originality) of his vast holdings here at the shallow northern end of deep southern nowhere, the Colonel has a quite unintentional, yet satisfying nonetheless, stand of wheat. The Colonel can neither confirm nor deny that the wheat growing in the North Field is as a result of the field's use for several dove shoots last Fall.
Small heaps of shotgun shell hulls spaced regularly around the field tend to lend credence to confirmation.
The lack of substantial amounts of meat in the freezer tend to lend credence to denial.
While the neither confirmed nor denied dove shoots may or may not have been impressive, the stand of wheat now extant in the North Field is, the Colonel can proudly attest, very impressive.
The Colonel's grandsons, the Hope of 21st Century Civilization dashes One and Two (H21CC-1 & 2), are even more impressed with the impressiveness of the unintentional wheat field than is the Colonel. They especially like the fact that the Colonel allows them to romp in one small corner of said impressive unintentional stand of wheat that may or may not be the result of copious amounts of wheat spread on the North Field in what may or may not have been a bonafide agricultural practice.
Children are one of only two species on this big blue marble that romp. (The act of romping is impossible for anyone over the age of twelve, of which the Colonel can attest with certainty born of a very recent attempt.) The only other species capable of romping is the adolescent phase of the domestic canine.
That's puppy dog for the LSU and Alabama grads among the few of you struggling to maintain your sanity perusing the drivel in this post.
Puppy dawg for the Mississippi State grads.
A full-fledged romp worthy of the appelation is no ordinary scurrying about by feet of kids clad in Keds. A romp is accomplished with wild abandon. A romp combines tumbles, leaps, screeches, giggles, and, if an appropriate nearby shallow semi-liquid-filled depression is available, full frontal splashes.
That's puddle for the Georgia grads struggling to keep up.
When H21CC-1 & 2 told their Nana, the comely and kind-hearted Miss Brenda, that the Colonel let 'em romp in the wheat field (the little snitches), the Colonel's lady fixed the Colonel with her patented and lovingly oft-used "You idiot!" look and asked with great concern,
"What about snakes?!?"
The Colonel assured her that no snakes were harmed in the accomplishment of the impressive wheat stand romp.
The Colonel is not a complete idiot.