Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Mississippi Purchase

The Colonel's vast holdings here at the northern end of southern nowhere nearly doubled this afternoon and all it took was the remainder of his meager life savings and his signature on more forms than President Obama has hidden about his life prior to ten years ago.

Actually, the Colonel's No. 2 son--the single, rich one (the latter primarily because he is the former)--joined him in the purchase of the acreage adjacent to Eegeebeegee, so it's not exactly accurate to claim a doubling of the Colonel's vast holdings.

But, since when have the three of you who regularly waste precious rod and cone time perusing posts hereon ever noticed the Colonel allowing accuracy to prevent his telling a story?

The aforementioned acreage acquisition reunites two halves of a piece of property sold asunder by the previous owner. While there is nothing particularly special about the new addition to the Tallahatchie Free State's capital city limits, the Colonel and his kin have wanted it, more than any other reason, so that nobody else would get it.
The last thing the good citizens of the TFS wanted was to have some developer try to put in a subdivision next door. That would have put a significant crimp in the freedom of the Hope of 21st Century Civilization--dashes One and Two (H21CC-1 & 2) to make water at the base of any random tree on the Colonel's property without fear of offending the tender sensibilities of some suburban house- er, um,.. significant other.

Not to mention putting a significant crimp in the Colonel's similar freedoms.

The really great part of this good news story is that the extra acreage brings with it a whole set of its own required capital improvement projects. There are extra fields to plant to feed the antlered and bearded fauna, more trees to selectively log to feed the Colonel's sawmill (Semper Filet), and another stream across which another bridge must be built in order to provide far field access for the Colonel's rusty red pick-up (Semper Fillit) and his trusty red tractor (Semper Field).

The Colonel is considering recruiting and commissioning a Corps (pronounced core, Mr. President) of Discovery to explore and map the new territory. H21CC-1 & 2 are the most likely candidates for co-captains of the adventure.

With any luck, they'll find a navigable route to Sardis Reservoir that will negate the need to pay the Feds a fee to launch the boat next duck season.
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