Monday, September 08, 2008

Monday MOTOs

This morning I thought I would lead off the week by listing winners of The Colonel's Mastery of the Obvious (MOTO) award for their hammerlock grip on reality demonstrated in gratuitous gum-beating last week.

The MOTO Gold medal goes to Gloria Steinem, the bra-burning feminist boomer icon whose relevance has decreased to just above that of a pet rock, for her MOTO comment that Sarah Palin "shares nothing but a chromosome" with Hillary Clinton. To which I will add my sincere thanks to my God.

The MOTO Silver medal goes to the sportscaster who opined that the Rebel (ahem) faithful "have to be heartbroken" at Ole Miss' last second loss to Wake Forest on Saturday. Ya think?!?

The MOTO Bronze medal goes to Barack Obama for the following, "I actually always thought of the military as an ennobling and, you know, honorable option. But keep in mind that I graduated in 1979. The Vietnam War had come to an end. We weren't engaged in an active military conflict at that point. And so, it's not an option that I ever decided to pursue." He gets the award for his mastery of obvious historical timelines. But let me add my analysis of this comment. One of the things that has always cranked up my crotchety ole colonel meter is when someone insults my intelligence and sense of honor by giving me a feeble reason for not serving his country in uniform. Senator Obama's inference is that if we had still been at war with the Vietnamese communists in 1979, he would have raced to the recruiting station. All of you who believe that this assertion strains the limits of even the most open-minded definition of credulity, raise your hands. This comment ranks right up there with Hillary Clinton's laugher that she wanted to join the Marines in 1975 and was told she was too old and her eyesight was too bad. Change we can believe in, indeed.
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