The coming national election has the Colonel feeling a bit nostalgic.
Oh, for the halcyon days of peaceful and orderly transition of presidential power.
You know, like Bush v. Gore.
Twenty years ago the Colonel was serving as the Chief of Current Operations on the staff of United States Forces Korea (USFK). The staff was primarily Army with an eclectic assortment of token representation from the Air Force, Navy, and Marines -- just enough to satisfy the designation: Joint. Parallel to the US staff was a mirror staff composed of Republic of Korea (ROK) military. The two staffs together formed Combined Forces Command (CFC). And..., all of this was nominally under the command of United Nations Command (UNC) -- a U.S. Army four star wore all three hats. As you can well imagine, the organization chart and chain of command was more than just a little convoluted.
The staff didn't let the organizational mishmash get in the way of planning and operational progress, however. Their own squabbling over rice bowls (military slang for areas of responsibility) was enough of a roadblock.
The Colonel's counterpart on the ROK half of the combined staff was a ROK Army one-star by the name of Bang (pronounced "bong"). General Bang was (is) a great man who navigated the shoals and undercurrents of, often, competing US and ROK goals with aplomb. That he had a great sense of humor helped immensely in the herculean task of keeping two armies focused on the threat to the north; not to mention easing a knuckle-dragging Marine's attempt to operate in a completely foreign environment -- the Army way of doing things as much as the Korean.
Early every morning, the combined US - ROK staffs provided BG Bang and the Colonel a half-hour PowerPoint presentation that covered peninsular events over the past 24 hours and progress on planning for upcoming exercises and high-level visits, etc. Afterwards, the principles of the two Current Operations staffs -- representing air, land, naval, and command post -- met in a smaller executive setting. Since most of the stuff of any import had already been covered in the larger audience brief, this smaller session was more about team-building than anything else.
BG Bang and the Colonel had agreed early on that instead of the more comfortable and default seating arrangement around the large conference table -- US on one side and ROK on the other -- staff counterparts would sit together. Furthermore, each pair was responsible for teaching each other a slang word or colloquialism that would be shared daily. The looks around the table were priceless when a South Korean general, whose culture is steeped in polite and deferential speech, answered a subordinate's unbelievable claim regarding an issue with: "I didn't just fall off the turnip truck."
As you can well imagine, some... okay..., a lot of the slang the American officers taught their Korean counterparts was not appropriate for polite company. The prim Korean officers tittered like schoolgirls when one would use a blue phrase that would ordinarily not be accepted in their society. For their part, the American officers, the Colonel included, continuously butchered the Korean language, shocking the deferential Koreans when the wrong tense was used when addressing a senior.
One morning in the second week of November of 2000, BG Bang summarily cut off the culture klatch and asked the Colonel, "What is a chad?"
What followed -- as will be no surprise to any of you unfortunate enough to have been present when the Colonel has been asked a simple political or history question for which the Colonel believes a very detailed answer is required -- was a narrative tour de force of the Constitution, the States' responsibilities in national elections, and the role of the Electoral College.
The greatest looks of interest around the table were the Colonel's American subordinates -- they were clearly hearing some of this for the first time. And, that a knuckle-dragging Marine who didn't go to college (the Colonel went to Ole Miss, instead) could expound on the subject so, was even more amazing to them.
At length, when the Colonel finally paused to take a deep breath, the very prim and polite Korean brigadier general sitting next to him, grasped his forearm and exclaimed,
"I asked you what time it was; not how to build a [expletive deleted] clock!"
2 comments:
Anytime anyone lacks a killer story, my fave Suck tale of all was the guy from the FMF who would hang-out at ITS, where the Fleet was I had little idea at the time despite it being obviously near; I could barely handle what it took to fly for Jungle Juice. Believe it or not, even the near-deaths that almost occurred my entire time in never beat this oddness; any time someone wants to hear the best thing I saw in there I usually tell them this one (the same as I usually emphasize the lazy people who succeeded in doing precisely nothing somehow--people need to know of them more than anything--how much you could always get away with in the Marines--a great deal if you had the right stuff). I will not name who it was in C 1/8 for I did not know C 1/8 existed either, yet. I would see this guy around ITS (on Geiger of course) I thought he was a clerk, or that he worked there, what he was doing there I never knew but he'd be around, like an extra would be in a M*A*S*H* tent but in too many "episodes" was he there.
When we'd get chewed-out by ITS staff (who were, of course, the coolest people due to the Suck ruining most of their careers by then per some awesome infraction few had the stones for--is why they were ITS instructors and our chewing would take awhile as per tradition, we'd usually be at attention and often on line, forever, and like boot camp who knew what it was about that time) I'd see this cat leaning up against a wall inside our barracks as we got reamed, ITS being "boot-camp light." You had some freedoms but not many more than you did in boot camp and no one had a car as they were more or less forbidden (I'd secretly somehow parked mine on Geiger, in broad daylight, not far from the barracks, how I got away with that who knows but the rules were right--it often led to trouble: Myrtle Beach and all the bad ideas on the way and back and during our stay--formations became a real hassle--we sometimes barely made them). So I get sent to the Fleet, which, for me and another dude who would go to weapons platoon, my being an unexciting and unimpressive 0311, and only us two out of the whole class did the sea-bag drag--for real--a few blocks down the road from ITS while some flew to HI, C 1/8 being right down the street from ITS on Geiger, which, of course, was beyond awesome, so much fun it should have been illegal was Geiger at the time, and all the work that went with it, some of it I was amazed I could actually almost easily do, but who do I soon see upon check-in (where the 1st Sgt. as he gave me a once-over, made a boot lieutenant know not to walk in his office like he had it like that--I picked-up on an apparent dislike for such types by senior enlisted right away). The same dude was in my new platoon, he soon shadowed me wherever I went despite my being as boot as you could be so I really went nowhere and the roach coach. When I eventually told the platoon he would come to ITS now and then, everyone fell-out laughing.
He was going down to ITS (on foot) because he thought he'd impress all the boots with how "hard" he was by being a "seasoned" Fleet Marine, leaning-up against a wall, blowing cigarette smoke in probably salty cammies with maybe a Wes-Pac under his belt; people couldn't get over that when they found out (to this day he has no friends, the same as he's always been, I Blocked him online) aw
You are descended from Arville Vernon Gregory, Sr. of Columbus, MS? I am helping a neighbor of mine look into the history of his home. We know that Arville was the first owner. Since the city Directory of Columbus lists Arville as an "architect," we are wondering if maybe he designed the house in the late 1950's. Fun Fact - The MASH inspiration that you talk about one of your posts, he lived 1/2 block from the house that Arville lived in. I would love to get more information for my neighbor, or would be happy to share with you what little I know!
Post a Comment