You want him that way.
The Republic needs men and women like the Colonel -- cold, calculating, rational...,
...unfeeling.
While the rest of humanity pines for the ease of a life where the phrase "I feel that..." precedes all pronouncements of policy positions, there must be those hated few who keep the rest grounded in reality.
The Colonel's bride, best friend, and permanent life journey co-marcher -- the comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda -- is a world-class "feeler." She possesses a heart the size of Montana.
Why Montana?
Because the Colonel likes to see his Texan friends pay attention, and slighting them is a sure way to accomplish that mission.
Works with Bama and LSU fans as well.
But, the Colonel digresses.
Last evening, the Colonel was ensconced in his comfy leather chair parked front and center of his far-too-small 50" flat screen (he means, c'mon there's room on that wall for at least a 75"), perusing the cable news opinion prattle. The comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda was couch-side tending to her current quilting project and paying about as much attention to the discussion of politics and policy as an armadillo pays to traffic, when one of the talking heads said something that caused her to pause mid-stitch,
"That's not right."
The Colonel jumped at the sudden sound to his right, unaccustomed to any other sound during his nightly perusal of the cable news opinion prattle, save his own shallow breathing. He turned to see the comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda glaring at the far-too-small flat screen (seriously, the Colonel could easily fit an 80" on that wall), "What's that dear? Did you lose your needle again?"
She pointed toward the far-too-small flat screen with her dainty chin (the Colonel loves that chin..., and seriously, if Vizio ever comes out with a 100" model...), "That's not right. I don't feel that they should be able to do that."
"Your 'feelings' have zero bearing on the issue," the Colonel growled dismissively.
"Don't be dismissive with me, old man!" The comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda was no longer pointing her dainty chin at the far-too-small (see previous paragraphs) flat screen. Her green eyes were flashing at the Colonel over her readers, "and, what's wrong with your voice? You sound like a puppy fighting over a bone."
"Who you callin' a puppy? That was the Colonel's dismissive growl, developed during a career of interminable staff meetings, and meant to strike mortal terror in the hearts of staff weenies wasting the operators' time."
"Whatever..." Obviously the comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda had realized the error of her ways and was now submitting to the intellectual superiority of...
"What's wrong with your face, knucklehead? You've got that haughty Obama look going on."
The Colonel glared toward his beautiful bride, "That's the 'Colonel's haughty look.' Obama stole it from the Colonel."
"Whatever..." (The Colonel has a very submissive wife.) "I just don't feel that they should be able to do that."
"Well...," the Colonel dropped his dismissive growl (puppy, indeed! -- she probably thinks Moby Dick was a minnow) and assumed his practiced pedantic pontification persona. "There's no law against it."
"Well, I feel like there should be."
"It would be unconstitutional. And..., nowhere in the Constitution of our great Republic is the concept of 'feelings' found."
"How would it be 'unconstitutional?'" The comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda emphasized the last word in what the Colonel recognized as her mocking attempt to impersonate the Colonel's practiced pedantic pontification persona. The Colonel might have been offended if..., well..., if he had any feelings.
"Ever heard of the Bill of Rights, dear? What you are proposing would violate at least two of the rights protected in the first ten amendments to our Constitution."
"Well," the comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda huffed, "they need to change those amendments, then."
"First," the Colonel shifted into a whole 'nuther gear in his practiced pedantic pontification persona, "you can't 'change' an amendment to the Constitution. In order to undo something in the Constitution, or an amendment thereto, you must ratify another amendment. For example, the 18th Amendment to the Constitution, ratified in 1919, outlawed the production, transport, and sale of alcohol. It was superseded in 1933 by the 21st Amendment lifting this prohibition; but, the 18th Amendment itself was not changed and remains in the Constitution."
"Well, that's stupid. Why do they do that?"
"In the Colonel's not-so-humble opinion, that's part of the overall genius of the U.S. Constitution -- leaving the language of the amended portions of the original Constitution and superseded amendments intact provides an historical road map for posterity."
"Yeah. I know, I know. It's always about history with you isn't it?"
The Colonel didn't so much ignore the comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda's jibe as much as took it as a compliment. He continued, "The constitutional process for changing anything in the U.S. Constitution is prohibitively protracted." The Colonel was wound up and reveling in the opportunity to educate, "Article V of the Constitution provides for two means of proposing an amendment for ratification consideration. One is via Congress -- either by a two-thirds majority of both the House and Senate, or by a national convention called by Congress (which ain't likely to happen). The other is what is currently being called "A Convention of States," where two-thirds of the states themselves call for a national convention."
The Colonel paused in a quick beseeching prayer, "Lord, if you love me -- and I don't doubt that you do -- you'll allow me to be selected as a state representative to the coming convention of states. Amen."
The Colonel noticed that the comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda's patience was wearing ever-so-slightly thin and began to wrap up his practiced pedantic pontification, "Any proposed amendment must be ratified by two-thirds of the states in order to take effect. So, you see, it ain't an easy proposition."
"Why is it so hard for you men to do anything?"
The Colonel ignored the overt sexism in the comely and kind hearted Miss Brenda's remark, "Because..., had it been easy, anytime somebody felt that a change should be made -- based on their heart and not their head -- the limitations and protections of the greatest form of government ever devised by man would have been erased and the Republic would have foundered within its first generation."
"Well, I still feel like we should..."
The Colonel, empty of empathy, short on sympathy, and lacking even a modicum of tact, cut her off summarily.
"Yep, you and 150 million brainless socialists."
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