Projections

Something has to give.

The Colonel's LOP (List of Projects: compilation of great landscaping, terra forming, and woodworking ideas) far exceeds his grasp.  The Colonel's PL (Project List: landscaping, terra forming, and woodworking projects begun but not completed) far exceeds the prioritization capability of his ADD addled mind. 

Further, adding insult to injury, the Colonel's once robust, if diminutive, physique has begun to atrophy at an alarming rate matched only by the rate at which his cognitive abilities are becoming less cognitive and far less able.

And then there's the weather. 

Climate change is a fact folks.

One needs only spend a modicum of time outdoors, or examining the monthly electric bill, to see the proof of significant change. 

One season it is unbearably hot and humid; the next it is unbearably cold and wet.  

Oh, how the Colonel longs for the good old days before corporate greed and rampant consumerism raised CO2 levels and turned our atmosphere into an ice sheet-melting greenhouse, spawning mega hurricanes, massive desertification, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, sunspots, tsunamis, killer bee invasions, mega fauna extinction, Walmarts, (deep breath), pet-eating pythons, libertarians, shovel-ready projects, S & L failures, falling test scores, alien abductions, and... 

Undocumented immigration.

It was a simpler time in the halcyon days of the Colonel's misspent youth/young adulthood.  

BCCE (Before Climate Change Era), life had meaning. 

BCCE, our enemies were bigger, badder, and tangible. Darn you, Gorbachev, you gave up too easily.

Must have been the weather.

BCCE, there was no such thing as Seasonal Affect Disorder.

BCCE, our children were less self-absorbed and much more polite.  

BCCE, birds weren't as angry, cows weren't as flatulant, and John Wayne was... well... John Wayne.

BCCE, the Colonel's writing made infinitely more sense.

The Colonel is tempted to follow Gorbachev's lead (there sure ain't any American leaders behind which to queue up any more) and throw in the towel. 

Anything he builds is just gonna get washed away in a couple hundred years when sea levels rise back to where they were a couple million years ago...

Wait. What?