For the gap-toothed Bama football fans whose only connection to the University of Alabama is the Walmart-bought "Roll Tide" T-shirt their momma gave them when they "graduated" from middle school (the rest of us refer to this as "dropping out"), the first letter in each of the words "Single Awareness Day" spells out the word: SAD. Get it? No? Well, might as well give your lips a rest and quit reading this post right here. Oh, before you go, you might want to run over to Walmart this afternoon -- they got a "three-for" sale today for Valentine's roses, 99 National Championships T-shirts, and herbicide.
Seems to the Colonel's finely tuned sensibilities that Valentine's Day is more commercially hyped than Christmas these days.
Do you wonder, as does the Colonel, how long it will be before the thought police will decide that the word "Valentine" is politically incorrect? After all, it's really Saint Valentine's Day. The thought police have already discouraged and discarded any religious reference to the day; it can't be long until the day becomes "Heart Day."
Or, "Love Day."
Or, "Friendship Day."
Or, "I bought you these flowers at Walmart on the way home, what's for dinner, can we have sex Day"
The Colonel thinks his friend may have it right. It has become a SAD day.
It's a sad day when only one day of the year is dedicated to demonstrating your care for another.
It's a sad day when you demonstrate such low regard for the worth of that special someone that you think flowers and chocolate are the way to their heart.
It's a sad day when holidays are hijacked and ecumenicized into nothing more than bland commercial opportunities.
The Colonel isn't going to stand for it.
He's marching right now over to the comely and kind-hearted Miss Brenda's side and whispering into her ear his most heart-felt sweet nothing:
"Sweetthing, let's get outside and get the chores done."
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