A Rolling Stone Gathers No Stars

The Colonel has chewed vigorously on his tongue the past two days as the latest example of the ever-present American civil-military tension has splashed across the news. He had a lot to say on the subject, but most of it not fit for print.

The Colonel is more than a little chagrined, on a number of levels, with regard to reporter Michael Hastings' revelations in the forthcoming issue of Rolling Stone. Some basic questions, if the Colonel may...

First,... Rolling Stone?

You let a reporter from the Rolling Stone hang around with you and your staff? You let a reporter from the Rolling Stone go out drinking with you and your staff? Being open to the press is one thing, but the Rolling Stone? The Colonel ain't a smart man, but he knows that is about like letting Jane Fonda participate in strike mission planning.

(The three of you who regularly waste valuable rod and cone time perusing posts hereon are old enough to remember Ms Fonda's treasonous behavior. On the outside chance that a fourth, unenlightened reader will stumble upon this post and not get it--Jane Fonda visited North Vietnam and had her picture taken sitting on an anti-aircraft gun and was quoted as wishing there was an American B-52 overhead that she could shoot at. Ms Fonda graced the pages of Rolling Stone in more than a few treasonous articles during that war.)

Second, you led your staff in yucking it up about and mocking members of the National Command Authority? You allowed an environment in which that kind of disrespectful and insubordinate behavior was so common-place that an outsider easily picked up on it and could quote enough of it to write about? You allowed an environment in which that kind of disrespectful and insubordinate behavior was so common-place that a freelance reporter from the Rolling Stone easily picked up on it and could quote enough of it to write a feature article about? The Colonel ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even he wouldn't have been surprised at the result of that.

Who do you think you are? MacArthur?

Well, you just might be. We are fighting this [insert current euphemism] as if it were the latest incarnation of the Korean War--a conflict with muddled and contradicting aims, propping up a corrupt and ineffective government, at which we throw just enough men and resources to waste them without decisive result.

Mr. President, relieve the General. You must. Then, shut down his headquarters and bring home the rest of the troops as rapidly as you can.

The Colonel volunteers his rusty red pick-up, Semper Fillit, if you are short on transportation.