Old Is as Old Does

The other day, the Colonel and the latest generation of Gregory men--the hope of 21st century civilization--were enjoying our traditional (traditions are easily begun and sustained with three-year-olds) after-dinner ice cream sandwiches out on the front porch of the Big House at Eegeebeegee. Caleb, having rapidly dispatched his cold confection well under the 8 second mark necessary to claim victory in yet another of a long list of "races" by which the life of boy is ordered, opined that Pop needed to hurry up and finish his ice cream sandwich so that we could progress to the next race--the traditional after-after-dinner ice cream sandwich front yard frolic.


The tendinitis at the back of my right heel was still smarting from the previous evening's after-after-dinner ice cream sandwich front yard frolic, during which the man curmudgeoned before his time had found it surprisingly necessary to find a higher gear in the race to settle the best of thrty-seven series for the championship of the world in the Eegeebeegee Big House Front Yard Fifty Yard Dash. I failed to find the higher gear that only a year ago had been available and instead found a sharp-stabbing pain at the juncture of heel and Achilles tendon (why couldn't Thetis have dipped him in the Styx holding him by his thumb instead of his heel?!?). I informed Master Caleb that I would not be racing that evening. "Why?," he enquired, using the favorite word of little boys the world over.

"Because Pop's foot hurts, that's why."

"Why, Pop?"

"Because Pop is old, that's why."

"You're not old, Pop!"

"Well, if I'm not old, who is?"

"Nana."

"Pop, what is so funny? Pop, you laugh loud! Pop, you're turning red!"

Today, 09/09/09, is the [censored] anniversary of the comely and kind-hearted Miss Brenda's birth and air-breathing beginning of orbits 'round ole Sol. Not trying to make any old age allusions here, but when the comely and kind-hearted Miss Brenda was born, the technology of the time had not detected her presence in the womb alongside her homely and mean-spirited twin sister. [The foregoing gratuitous cheap shot at the Colonel's sister-in-law was included purely for the sake of rhetorical and literary balance and is not indicative of the Colonel's actually feelings, nor does it in any way reflect an accurate assessment of said sister-in-law's countenance and character.] The comely and kind-hearted Miss Brenda's appearance on the scene was an unexpected bonus.

The bonus has been my boon. Happy Birthday, Sweetthing! [Oh, yeah; you, too, Sis.]